Mentors

10 May 2024

Natalia

The night I first went out in public with Alex was also the night I was introduced to Natalia, who I consider a first mentor. Natalia and I quickly bonded over passions for make up and fashion. I admired Natalia a lot for the confidence that she demonstrated and the fallibility she showed as she worked to improve her presentation. She was always great about giving constructive feedback if you were interested, but never pushy either.

Over many months, Natalia and I made plans to hang out in the gay village of Toronto night after night. We had a shared drive to grow and experiment with makeup and dress. She pushed me in ways that I wanted to be pushed because I didn’t want to be an awkward, looking crossdresser in the back of the room. I wanted to be able to hold my head high in pride at the skills I had developed. Confidence in dress, was confidence in life.

Lorna

Around the same time, I made friends with a trans woman from Dubai named Lorna. She just about stunned me the first time I met her because her makeup and dress were so well put together. She had a clear sense of taste for higher fashion and the same passion for improvement that I shared with Natalia. Lorna would visit Toronto from time to time for a few weeks or a month and when she was in town she was eager to get out and socialize. We would meet for drinks, chat over martinis and compliment each other’s outfits and makeup. We would chat about navigating men and it’s many challenges.

Growing up

Natalia and Lorna both had reasons to leave Toronto at a similar time the following Spring and it left me feeling very empty for a while. Without them I had worried I’d have no one to get drinks and watch amateur drag with at The Well on a Wednesday night. No one to go dancing with at El Convento Rico on a Saturday. I had grown so much with them, but it was time for the training wheels to come off and find my own independence.

Very quickly after they both left, I took it into my own hands to make new friends who were interested in spending more time out. Although I had trouble finding the faith in myself at first, I realized how much of a foundation in confidence spending time with Natalia and Lorna had given me. The idea of grabbing a drink with someone wherever and whenever had become so much less daunting.

Reunited

Natalia and Lorna have both had reasons to come back to Toronto recently, which makes me so happy. While I don’t need to lean on them like I used to, I’m still up for a Dirty Vodka Martini and some drag and they are still some of my favorite people to do that with.