Years and years

06 Jan 2025

It’s been a while since I’ve found the time to sit down and write in long form. I’ve been active on Instagram still, just because sometimes it’s easier sometimes to dump a quick thought into a story post. I’ve also trying to practice my comfort with off-the-cuff public speaking through Instagram stories a little bit. In any case, I’ve really wanted to find more time to write because I have a pile of things to talk about. Hopefully this year I can find a way to get more ideas on paper as they happen.

Rather than make this about a review on 2024 or a goals setting post for 2025, let me just try to blast through a variety of topics and do my best to catch you up on what’s been happening.

Dating

In the earlier half of 2024 I was struggling quite a bit to find what I wanted in relationships. I felt like I was always being let down by the people I met which led to a lot of time wasted and emotional investment in the wrong places.

While I am still single, I do feel things got a lot better in the second half of the year. Part of it came out of continuously growing, learning and becoming a more confident person with the right energy and attitude to attract better people.

I don’t regret writing about frustration with dating challenges earlier this year, even though I’m not sure the tone expressed the kind of person I wanted to be. When I reflect on it I personally feel it comes off too helpless. I don’t want to be navigating the world feeling like a victim. Realizing this after writing it helped me make some changes afterwards that had positive impact on my life. Part of that change began with asking a guy out for the first time in my life. The outcome was postively different.

The Hair Transplant

I will take some time in the future to write in more detail about my hair transplant specifically, but I haven’t mentioned it in this blog before. On November 30 2023 I had the procedure done, and over the course of 2024 I recovered and grew into my own hair. The journey of my hair growth is best documented in photos, so I’ve shared a couple for comparison below.

This hair transplant has been a huge gamechanger in my life. As much as I love slinging wigs and serving bigger looks, the joy of ones own hair is undeniable. Believe it or not, I was actually prepared to still need to wear wigs after the transplant. I wanted recover hair nonetheless, just in hopes that taking my wig off at night and looking in the mirror might be less gender dysphoria inducing. It certainly accomplished that quickly, but things grew out beyond my original expectations and now I’ve gotten very comfortable in my own hair. As of writing this blog I haven’t worn a wig in nearly 2 months

This picture compares a photo from Spring 2024, ~5 months into recovery, to a recent one taken in January 2025

The New Home

After looking for places in my area for the last 3 years I finally found a deal I couldn’t pass up and bought my first home! The last place was a great home for hosting friends and building community so I’m glad I only had to move a few doors down on the same block, into the same kind of unit, to become a first-time owner. My life was a little bit disrupted by this, but I’m now back in action and really looking forward to more hosting for friends and community. I feel like I can finally nest into this place and not worry about being evicted, which has happened to me twice before in Toronto for renovation/sale reasons. While this news is not directly trans-related, stability is a cornerstone of making the journey possible.

The Euro Trip

Anyone following me on Instagram in November had the opportunity to follow along as I took a trip to the UK and Spain for a couple of big accomplishments

1. I visited my family in the UK and travelled into London one night to go out in the Soho area. This was my first time glamming up and going out alone in another country. Before I travelled downtown that night I made connections online with a couple other gender non-conforming folks who expressed interest in meeting me there. Unfortunately, both people got cold feet and didn’t show up. It was a bit of a downer since I didn’t get a chance to make any new friends, but it also reminded me how far I’ve come to be out in another country alone encouraging locals to join me like it’s no big deal.

2. I travelled from London to Marbella, Spain in order to get an in-person consultation for Facial Feminization Surgery (FFS) with the surgical clinic FacialTeam. This is another subject that deserves it’s own blog entry eventually, but to summarize, it was a pretty valuable journey for me. It triggered a lot personal of reflection that I needed to do. Reflections about what I really want, who I was doing the surgery for and what realistic outcomes I could expect. This lead me to some pretty important actions that I took when I got home.

Coming out at work

At the end of my journey to Europe I was convinced that waiting on FFS before I could come out at work was a mistake. I felt like if I was really serious about transitioning, if this wasn’t just some delusion I was chasing, then I couldn’t wait on any surgery or procedure before making that change. So I decided that I would dress very femme in full make-up for my work holiday party. Three weeks later that’s exactly what I did, and it went really well.

About one week after that, at a friend’s birthday party, I came to realizations that I was ready to finish the job. That next week I sat down with my CEO and told him I was trans and wanted to make the change at work in January. That also was well received and I’m now on the path to completing transition in the whole of my life!

What’s next

2025 is bound to be a really big year. I’m on the road to completing big milestones in my social transition and I’m really excited. Since coming out more socially at the start of Summer 2024, I’ve come to realize how much more of a healthy mentality I still needed to develop. Despite feeling like I’d already come so far over the previous years, it’s felt like the positive impacts are accumulating and I’m feeling a stronger wind in my sails than ever before.

I’m also happy to say that after a lot of thinking and several consultations, I’ve decided to move forward with FFS with FacialTeam in Spain and I’ll be covering a lot more on that soon too.

Until next time

I really hope to not let there be such a writing gap as there has been in the Fall of 2024. Life was moving quickly, things were changing and I felt like I needed some time away from writing to just experience life. I could come back when I felt inspired to again.

I also appreciate the kind words I hear from people about these writings. One reason I want to try to write more is because folks reach out from time to time and tell me how my writing has helped them understand themselves or someone else they know who is going through a similar journey. I really appreciate these kind words and just wanted to take a moment to express gratitude, because it helps me feel less alone in this too.

Peace, Love, Unity and Respect,

Kai 🫶